When I first found out I was going to be a father to a son I was ecstatic. Before laying eyes on him even once I had already pondered his life on this earth. I thought about the sports he would play, journeys he would embark on, friends he would have, would He serve the God of the Bible and accept Christ as his Lord and Savior, and how I would play a role in all these things. In all of my thinking one question had me stomped...would I kiss him?
Growing up I was only kissed by by the women in my life like my mother, grandmothers, aunts, etc., but I could never remember being kissed by my father. I did however remember my best friend's father kissing him on the cheek when we were in high school. At first I thought it was weird, but as I interacted with them more I saw their relationship was a close one where they could talk about anything. Over time this would become less weird and more of a normal occurrence in my mind.
What helped to "normalize" the thought of kissing another man without a sexual attraction was studying the Bible where there is kissing going on throughout and men in my local church that kiss their son(s). Mainly this occurred between relatives or very close friends and usually on the cheeks, but it happened nonetheless. Paul even instructs the brothers of Corinth in 2 Corinthians 13:11-12 to greet one another with a holy kiss which lead me to conclude a male kissing another male was to show affection and respect. Why do we have such a stigma against fathers kissing sons in current western culture?
I Kiss My Son
I honestly think most men don't want to come off as being weak, gay, or less than what a man is conceived to be in traditional American history. I choose to kiss my son everyday because I want to have a bond with him that I don't have with anyone else. The only men he will ever probably see me kiss is him and his brothers if he has any in the future. Other men will receive a handshake or hug depending on the relationship, but I think the father son dynamic is different and we need to learn to be more affectionate towards our sons. Don't get me wrong I still wrestle and rough house wit my son even though he's still a toddler, but I also want to show him a balance. I don't want him thinking men are supposed to be unbreakable because we all need affection whether we make it known or not.
Don't hear me say you have to kiss your son(s), but I don't want you to not kiss your sons for the wrong reasons. Will I kiss my son(s) when there older? I probably will, but we will have to wait and see. I see tough "manly" men kiss their sons all the time, and honestly it does my heart good seeing their boys growing into men that lead their families well.
Do you kiss your son(s)? Why or why not?