1. Meet dream girl 
  2. Date
  3. Get engaged
  4. Get married
  5. Buy a house
  6. Have kids
  7. Let life take its course
  8. The end

Honestly, that was my logic towards pursuing my wife, but I started to see how flawed my logic was. I’ve been married 8 years, and I have been in a relationship with Elli for about 10 years now. The sad news is I knew the problem, but the good news is I want to rectify the problem. So, what' the problem?

The Problem

Short answer is I have been the problem. The long answer is my wife has a need that I have been neglecting, and I hope you are not in the same boat as me. The problem is after getting married I stopped dating my wife. I was foolish to believe after getting married I no longer had to pursue my wife by going on regular dates. Wow what a big dummy, and if you have made the same mistake I hope you feel horrible…seriously.

As men we can usually skip the romance and get straight to business, but our wives are totally different. Our wives are delicately wired and emotionally charged beings as oppose to men who are usually hard wired and physically charged. If I told you a study was recently done that says, “a husband that takes his wife on a date at least once a week has better sexual experiences than any other man,” I can almost guarantee no woman would go a week without going on a date. Unfortunately, I don’t think this study exists, but that should not stop you from always being intoxicated by your wife’s love.

Plan of Action

Proverbs 5:19 says, “a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” Even the Bible commands us to be satisfied with her (your wife’s) breasts and always be intoxicated with her (your wife’s) love, so it seems clear to me what the plan of action should require. So often I hear men say, “she stopped doing a lot of things she used to do while we were dating or when we first got married,” and my response is, “I can guarantee she’s not the only one.” Don’t hear me say you must go on lavish dates and lots of money, but please try to get out of the house to be alone with your bride.

For the lazy guys, here’s a list (Date Ideas) for every week in the year (please try more than #51)! I love my wife dearly, so I’m going to start making more sacrifices to intentionally date her till death do us part. Marriage should be where dating really starts not end. I want to please God through loving my wife well, and love my wife well by being obedient to God! If you have been struggling in this area I would encourage you to be intentional about dating your wife because it could change your marriage for the better!


• Leave the kids with someone responsible because this is your time together alone
• Be creative
• Have fun
• Get to know each other deeper
• Handle unhealthy arguments after date night not before or during
• Realize any moment can be your last, so be intentional with your wife
• Be intoxicated in her love


Grace and Peace,