Our Sons Need Us
It is no secret there is a crisis with children growing up in today’s times without a father in their lives. Paul said, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” in 1 Corinthians 11:1, so if we were to say these words to our sons and daughters would we want them to follow our lead? More importantly would our children be imitators of Christ if they imitated what they see in us? If your answer is yes then AMEN, and I would love to hear from you in the comment section. If your answer is no keep reading!
I have conversed with many boys living in a fatherless home, and in almost each one of them I sense a deep longing for affirmation, discipline, and leadership from a father. For a good part of my life I also struggled with the longing for a father, but lived in the reality of him not being there. I can sympathize with these young men knowing the hurt of wanting something that seems only like a dream. In return they look to friends for validation, superstars for leadership the abundance of girls to affirm masculinity, drugs and alcohol to cope with the feeling of not being wanted, and in some cases intimate relationships with other men to feel love from a man. We need to put an end to this crisis
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 1 Corinthians 13:11
The truth is a boy cannot learn to be a man without a man being present. God designated the special role of manhood to be taught by men, namely fathers. It’s time for "adult boys” who think they are men to actually become men. The ability to have sex with multiple women does not make us men, but the ability to love and cherish one woman faithfully over multiple years is what makes us men. As fathers it is our duty to display to our sons what it means to love a woman faithfully, how to lead a woman through obedience to Christ, how to glorify God through our relationship with a woman, and how to transition this same love into relationships with our children.
When King David was near the end of his life had a talk with Solomon, his son, before handing over the kingdom to him (1 Kings 2). A profound part of their talk is when King David told Solomon, “Be strong, and show yourself a man.” David had taught his son how to show himself as being a man through his failures and successes as a man. The most important characteristic he gave Solomon was not the ability to lead, but rather the ability to be a man after God’s heart. If you were to have this same talk with your son(s) today on your deathbed would they even know what it means to be a man, or would they be left to fend for themselves on becoming a man?
If you are a horrible father or an excellent father there is always room for improvement, so let’s encourage each other to become better fathers. First, let’s start on our knees praying to God to conform us more into his image. Our heavenly Father has much to say about fatherhood, and he models what it mean to be a perfect father. Though we will fall short the best thing we can teach our sons is we all have a Father above that will never leave or forsake us if we put our trust in Him. For some of you the road to recovery in fatherhood may be a difficult one, but be willing to make yourself vulnerable for the sake of becoming a godly father.
I’ll be discussing daughters in the next article, then we will tackle specific areas in which we can all grow as fathers. Thank you for reading, and hopefully this provided exhortation and encouragement to love your son(s) better!